November 1, 2011
Hello, peasantry, it's been a while. About a whole day to be exact.
First and foremost, let me just say I am disgusted with the lack of enthusiasm. I grace you all with my presence after a long and tiring year, redecorate a bit, and offer to give you all front row seats to the greatest mystery the world has ever seen. What am I met with? Three meager insults. I expected at least 10 at minimum.
As a scientist at heart, I'm really amazed at my findings here. If your level of stupidity were as low as ground level during my previous stay, then you have crashed down to subterranean levels now. Comparatively, the Burj Dubai has never been hotter. (HINT: I'm talking about my intellect placing me there. That would be the joke.) I mean, it's either that, or you're plotting something. As the world's greatest detective, I can tell you with faith neither of those are issues. I fear that my IQ may drop whilst being within 100 feet of you, but believe me when I say that I will be watching you. I will be watching you vengefully. Like, you know how The Dark Knight was number one in the box office for a large amount of time? I will be watching you MORE THAN THAT. I will have to open a Blaine Theater. Twelve of them. And I will be watching you in all of them at once. And then to really make matters worse, when you drag your sorry, apologetic selves into my magnificent theaters, I'll sit in front of you every single time. And still be watching you.
So, as we've covered, all of you are amazingly moronic. To get your brains (more or less) back in order, I will be preparing stuff. Stuff that you will not see until Friday, but stuff nonetheless.
The forum style is proving trickier than I imagined to fix (you really should look into some better administration) but I am still working on it. If you need to speak with me, I'll be on the forums. If you do not need to speak with me, I'll be on the forums.
DETECTIVE BLAINE IS WATCHING YOU.
~ Blaine
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